


the end of it all

by laireshi



Category: Guardians of the Galaxy (Comics), Marvel 616
Genre: Angst, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, more warnings in notes at the end
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-21
Updated: 2014-02-21
Packaged: 2018-01-13 08:06:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,102
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1218799
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/laireshi/pseuds/laireshi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“Hey, Rocket,” Peter said. “Is this light in Tony's chest supposed to go out?”</p>
            </blockquote>





	the end of it all

**Author's Note:**

  * Translation into 中文 available: [The End of It All｜终时（by laireshi，翻译by芮球）](https://archiveofourown.org/works/5408753) by [Rachel_Er](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rachel_Er/pseuds/Rachel_Er)



> So this was first posted on [my tumblr](http://laireshi.tumblr.com/post/77125371358/sad-starkquill-under-the-cut-got-a-bit-long), but it's kind of long, so I cleaned it up and decided to post it here.  
> Thanks to phenominable for beta :) Phenominable has also written [a little coda](http://phenominablesnowman.tumblr.com/post/77317600998/so-i-hear-you-like-sad-things-a-teeny-companion) to this fic. Be careful. It's very sad.

“Hey. Hey. Stark. Talk to me,” Peter said. Something was wrong – Tony had just swayed on his legs and would have fallen if it wasn’t for Peter, yeah, but there was more –

“Hey, Rocket,” Peter said. “Is this light in his chest supposed to go out?”

***

Tony came to with a gasp. Everything was aching. Breathing hurt. His heart hurt. His head hurt. It all vaguely felt as if he'd had another heart attack, except wasn’t his heart supposed to be fixed?

“Easy, Stark,” Peter said. Tony steeled himself and tried to sit up. It was very bright. He couldn’t see anything but shapes.

“Quill,” he murmured. “What’s…”

“You tell me,” Peter said. “It’s your RT that stopped working. Rocket fixed it, but…”

Oh. _Oh_. That wasn’t good. That was very much not good. Also rather impossible, it was shielded against EMPs, and the power couldn’t run out… He squinted. His vision was still blurred, but he needed to get to the lab and run diagnostics on himself.

A movement, and he was pushed back to bed. “If you think you look conscious enough to be walking, you’re wrong.”

Fuck, what was it with people making him stay in hospitals – the ship’s med bay wasn’t a hospital really, of course, but it was close enough that he wanted to get out. He really didn’t have the strength to get free from under Peter’s hand and he wasn’t sure he wouldn’t just fall over if he stood. That would be embarrassing.

He blinked a few times. Peter looked worried. Huh. Weird.

“Get me a tablet,” Tony said.

Peter sighed, but listened. Tony got immersed in computations, but he couldn’t help noticing Peter didn’t leave.

***

“Thanks, Rocket,” Tony said.

“You’re welcome, Stark.”

And that was it. Tony settled to work. The RT was flawless. It had to be. Whatever had happened to it… He had to make sure it wouldn’t happen again. Except there was nothing – not a single thing out of order. Tony would prefer a big malfunction. He could fix that. He couldn’t fix something that wasn’t wrong.

Then, while he was hooked up to diagnostic devices, the RT went out again.

***

“We have to stop meeting like this,” he joked, when he opened his eyes and Peter was at his bedside.

Everything hurt, again. He wondered when he’d get brain damage from the RT shorting out.

“Yeah, Stark, work on it,” Peter said.

“I was doing just that,” Tony said.

“Work on it without fainting.”

“I didn’t…”

“I had to carry you like a damsel in distress.”

“My prince,” Tony mocked, and frowned. “Oh. But you are.”

“And you’re a damsel in distress. I’m glad we agree.”

“Fuck you, Quill,” Tony laughed.

“Maybe when you’re better,” Peter said.

“I’m holding you to that.”

***

The readings he got this time… They weren’t good. They were very much not good. He shook his head and put the tools away.

“Rocket? Any markets nearby?”

“Theta Sigma. Twelve hours. I’ll set the course.” Rocket didn’t need more information. They understood each other quite well, in the workshop.

Tony went to look for Peter and found him looking at the stars out the big window in the central part of their ship.

“Never gets boring,” he said. Tony smiled without humour, walked up to him and kissed him. Peter, thankfully, didn’t ask any questions.

***

He lay on Peter’s chest, not especially inclined to move. He was warm and comfortable.

“Tony? What is it?” Peter asked.

“I don’t know, mutual tension relief?” Tony tried. Peter laughed humourlessly, and rolled them over. He looked down at him, serious.

“The RT?”

Tony sighed. “I need some materials.” At Peter’s raised eyebrows, he added, “to check something. Want me to run through Physics 101 for you? Because I can, but we really don’t have time.”

Peter looked him in the eyes. “So there’s a deadline.”

And damn, Tony hadn’t thought through what he’d said moments ago. “There’s a deadline,” he admitted.

“And you’re in my bed…”

“…because it’s preferable to sitting around willing the ship to go faster. You know I can’t risk going in the armour now.”

Peter sighed, run his hand over Tony’s back. “Sorry. I’m worried.”

“Yeah.”

Peter kissed him, gently, and Tony wanted to protest he wasn’t dying yet, but… _Yet_. It was very probably a ‘ _yet’._

_***_

By some miracle, he got enough vibranium and some space alloy that should work for him, and made it back to the ship without the RT node failing again. Of course, that’s why Peter and Rocket insisted on going with him too, just in case. Peter wanted to be able to catch him, and Rocket knew what he needed.

Tony realised, suddenly, that that was something he could’ve expected from the Avengers… That oh, he was on a team, and they were more than willing to help him. It was a strange realisation.

Deep space radiation was damaging his RT node, slowly but surely, and as far from Earth as they were – they wouldn’t make it back there in time for him.

So he had two options. To modify his RT or to build a new one. Except he couldn’t do either without a human hospital, and preferably Reed Richards and Thor on call.

He set to work anyway.

***

The RT must have shorted out again, he though, coming to. The pain in his whole body was getting to be a familiar feeling once more. Someone clutching his hand, no.

“I didn’t take you for romantic,” he said, his voice breaking. Breathing was difficult. Fuck. How long was he out…

Peter tightened his hand on Tony’s.

“You fell asleep over your work. It’s a good thing I checked up on you, because…” he trailed off.

Tony closed his eyes. Of course. Was there even any sense in looking for a solution? Yes. Steve would never forgive him, if he gave up… Of course, Steve would never forgive him quite a lot of different things anyway.

Peter ran his hand through Tony’s hair. “Hey. Whatever you were thinking about, don’t.”

“Should I think just of you?” Tony tried to joke.

“I’d like that. When you’re fixed.”

He’d never be fixed, but Peter didn’t need to know that. He could try and solve the mechanical problem, at least.

“Help me up?”

Peter hesitated.

“Come on, Quill. I can’t do anything worse to myself than lying here, waiting to die. So.”

Peter pulled him upright and kept him steady with one hand around his waist. It felt nice.

“Workshop?” Peter asked.

“Workshop,” Tony agreed.

He noticed Rocket was trying to help him, but he didn’t know enough of Tony’s physiology to really be able to help. It was nice anyway.

He looked at the tools and circuits, tried to fight past the fog in his eyes, and worked again.

***

Sometimes Peter would come in with a cup of coffee (and where did that come from, in space, Tony had no idea, but was immensely grateful) and would rub his back. Sometimes he’d come in to force Tony to sleep, with him, where he’d notice if the RT stopped working.

They exchanged kisses, but it wasn’t about sex anymore; Tony slept in Peter’s embrace and felt safe.

Then he’d get back to the workshop, and work, again.

***

“It’s ready,” Tony said, looking at the RT node in front of him. It was slightly different to the one in his chest, better suited to space. Hopefully it’d be well-suited to Tony, as well. They didn’t have much time to test it.

It wasn’t a new RT so much as an addition to the already existing one. Something that would take its tasks if the old RT malfunctioned. But it couldn’t do it for a long time, not without the node directly wired into Tony’s body.

Peter held him by his hand and squeezed, gently, and then moved away. Rocket had all the instructions.

Tony took off his shirt and looked at the node. Shining brightly. Still.

He could do it himself, in theory, but he’d rather not risk it. He lay down.

“Do it.”

Rocket attached the other node.

Tony screamed.

***

Peter’s hand was in his hair. It was dark. He had a migraine. His whole body hurt, again.

It hadn’t worked. He wasn’t exactly surprised. He’d only wanted to be able to say, _I tried. I’m sorry_.

 _How long now_ , he wondered idly. He could just ask Rocket not to revive him again the next time it went out. Or he could wait until one time it wouldn’t come back again.

Rocket might agree, but Peter wouldn’t, and Tony knew that. So waiting it was. At least, when it happened, it would be quick.

“I know what you’re thinking,” Peter said quietly, surprising him. He didn’t know Peter had noticed he was awake.

“What am I thinking?”

“We’ve set a course set for Earth.”

“We won’t make it,” Tony said calmly.

“We'll try,” Peter answered, and what else was there to add?

 _Thank you_? _Don’t_? _Why_?

Peter’s hand tightened over Tony’s. “We'll try, because I won’t watch you waiting to die, and do nothing. Or, because you’re you, just killing yourself to get it over with.”

Was he that obvious?

“What do you care anyway?” Tony asked.

“Sometimes I want to shake you, Stark,” Peter replied and stood up. “Come to bed. This med bay cot is terrible.”

Tony smiled, because it really was. He ended up leaning on Peter most of the way, but then they were in Peter’s bedroom again, and Tony felt inexplicably safe in Peter’s arms.

***

He thought of calling Pepper, but he was too much of a coward. He thought of calling Steve, but Steve would hate him in a few months, and making him worry now was unfair. He missed them. He missed them all, terribly. He wished he could offer apologies, for this, and for what he’d screwed up back on Earth. He hoped Reed and the others would find a solution to the incursions. He hoped Steve wouldn’t have to make the decision between his ethics, and his universe. He hoped they’d all have good lives. The team he and Steve had built – it was a good team. It should hold. He hoped for that as well.

He knew Earth was six days away. Too far.

Peter looked at him with sadness Tony himself didn’t feel. It was more like relief. How many times had he wished for it all to end? And now he got it. Maybe not under ideal circumstances; he still could’ve helped, but… It wasn’t the worst thing to happen.

They'd had sex, and fallen asleep still tangled together. Tony woke up cold and shivering. His node was flickering before it stabilised, leaving him unsettled and gasping for air. Peter ran his hand over his back and whispered some calming little nothings, and he settled again.

Earth was six days away, and he might not have even three.

“Hey, Peter,” he said one day. They were watching the stars outside. Familiar stars, stars that Tony could’ve seen from his window.

“Yeah, Tony?”

“Thank you.”

Peter started saying something, cut himself off and walked away.

“You’re an idiot, Stark,” Gamora said.

“I know. But so is he.”

“I’m not arguing that.”

They shared an unamused smile.

Tony’s world went dark.

***

He woke up in Peter’s bed, in his arms, and everything hurt, but Peter was so close that it was better.

“I’m sorry,” Tony said. “For…”

“Shut up, Stark,” Peter said.

“But…” Tony started to say.

“I know,” Peter said.

“I know,” Tony echoed. “Kiss me?”

“Always, princess,” Peter said, leaning in briefly. Tony smiled into the kiss.

“I thought that the prince was you,” he said.

“That too,” Peter agreed. “But if you were a damsel in distress, I would be able to save you.”

“Peter?”

“Yeah?’

“Shut up.”

They laughed.

“I’m just glad,” Tony said. “That it’s like –”

Peter cut him off with a kiss, less gentle this time. Tony pulled him closer.

He was vaguely convinced he’d said it before, but… “Thank you,” he said.

“Don’t,” Peter warned. “Just don’t. The Earth is close, it’s…”

“Not close enough,” Tony said. “And it’s okay.”

“I hate you,” Peter said in a shivering voice.

“You don’t,” Tony replied with absolute certainty.

“Go to sleep, Stark.”

“Only with you, Quill.”

Tony listened to Peter falling asleep next to him. His breathing got even, calmer.

It was okay. It couldn’t be better, really, not now.

Tony covered the node with his hand. No one would see if it flickered.

He closed his eyes.

**Author's Note:**

> Major character death: Tony Stark.
> 
> There's more starkquill fics and drabbles at my tumblr, [here](http://laireshi.tumblr.com/tagged/starkquill) :)


End file.
